It started like so many good stories start, with 24 strangers spending a weekend together. Okay, maybe we weren’t exactly strangers. While the majority of us were in fact meeting for the first time there was an overwhelming sense amongst us of knowing and being known because what brought us together that weekend was our child/ren with an extra chromosome. Another way to say it is like this: It started like so many good stories, with a room full of moms loving and raising a child with Down syndrome.
The retreat we were gathering for was the first ever Lucky Mama’s Retreat. The Lucky Mama’s Retreat started when my dear friend and founder of Ruby’s Rainbow, Liz Placta, reached out to see if I’d be interested in attending a weekend with other moms who have kids with Down syndrome. Not only was I interested but I shared with Liz that this exact kind of retreat was one I had dreamed of putting on myself and wondered if she would be interested in a partner. Liz said “yes” and in the middle of October, 2017 in the Hill Country of Austin, TX, Liz and I gathered 24 moms for an epic, good for the soul, weekend.
I remember it was day one of four. Moms were arriving from all over the country. As they trickled in I found myself standing in a room with a handful of my new friends and the topic of tattoos was brought up. I said to the group in the room, “let’s all get matching tattoos.” The moms all laughed to which I replied, “I am very serious!”. I spent the next two days telling all the moms how very serious I was and convincing them that a matching tattoo with 24 strangers was in fact a brilliant idea.
As these things go, and by “these things” I mean gathering a bunch of women who love someone with Down syndrome, we all fell pretty hard for each other and by day three of our four day retreat I had convinced the majority of the group to get matching tattoos.
Next step: what in the world do we all want tattooed on our bodies? We knew it needed to be something that would work for everyone including people who had zero tattoos. We also wanted it to be classy, gender neutral and timeless. We didn’t want yellow and blue ribbons or butterflies. As the group of moms began brainstorming, sharing ideas, photos and sketches, a fellow Lucky Mama, Mica May, who happened to be an expert graphic designer told the group about a dream she had about her son with Down syndrome. In this dream she got a giant tattoo of three chevron arrows on her forearm. As soon as she said it out loud a collective, “yes! That’s it!” resounded amongst the moms. It was perfect! Down syndrome is defined by three copies of the 21st chromosome, thus the three arrows. Arrows are significant because they represent a tension or pulling back before being able to be released and soar. This has been the story for so many parents loving a child with Down syndrome and for people with Down syndrome.
The next thing you know Mica has a sharpie and is drawing a variety of chevron arrows in a set of three, on different body parts of the moms in the room. Simultaneously one mom, Lisa Eicher, was on the phone with local tattoo parlors seeing if we could make mountains move and get 24 women tattoos at the very last minute on a Saturday night.
As luck would have it, we landed on a final variation of the three arrows. As not luck would have it, logistically it was not an option for 24 women to show up, last minute, at a tattoo parlor.
Alas.
But we were not going to give up. We’re raising kids with Down syndrome for goodness sake. Giving up is not in our vernacular. We are arrows being pulled back just waiting to soar! A new plan took shape which looked like a handful of mamas, six of us to be exact, who either lived local or had a later flight out, getting appointments at a tattoo parlor the next day.
That next day was Sunday, the last day of The Lucky Mama’s Retreat. After saying our goodbyes to our new best friends forever, six of us including myself, Mica May, Lisa Eicher, Katie Pokrana-McElroy, Amber Davis, and Erin Morrow, showed up at a tattoo parlor and became the first people to get the chevron arrows tattooed on our bodies. As it goes in this social media world, we took some photos, shared them on Instagram and went home to our families.
Little did we know that the photos we shared would make a huge splash rippling across the globe. Within days of coming home I began to hear the buzz. Other people who loved someone with Down syndrome wanted to know more about The Lucky Few Tattoo. Within the week, I began to see photos pop up of total strangers tattooing their bodies with the three arrows. Within that first month the dang arrow tattoo was popping up all over the world. I had never heard of a tattoo going viral, but if that’s a thing, that’s exactly what happened. Down syndrome associations all over the country held tattoo fundraisers, booking their local tattoo parlors while families lined up to get The Lucky Few Tattoo. Parents, grandparents and even great grandparents sent me photos showing off their first ever tattoo; the three arrows. I was invited to participate in local tattoo events and asked to FaceTime all across the country with families as parents, aunties, uncles, grandparents, friends, teachers and coaches got The Lucky Few Tattoo.
By the middle of 2018 the arrows had moved from tattoos on our bodies to symbols associated with the Down syndrome community. They began to pop up on t-shirts and other apparel. In fact, the number and variety of items you can get on Etsy with The Lucky Few Tattoo arrows may be unlimited. In the fall of 2018 I went to a different and much larger retreat for moms who have a child with Down syndrome and when I sat down at the table and looked at the forms offering information about the weekend I noticed those three arrows sprinkled into the design. I thought, “okay, so this little idea I had about a matching tattoo and Mica May sharing about her dream of the three arrows has really stuck!” Amazing.
It has been almost six years since The Lucky Few Tattoo made its way into the world. I know it is not the first time people who love someone with Down syndrome have tattooed something in threes on their bodies, or gotten matching tattoos to represent their loved one with Down syndrome. Nor is it the first time the three chevron arrows have appeared as tattoos, in fact the three chevron arrows as tattoos have been around for decades. Still, there is something so powerful, even hopeful when I think about The Lucky Few Tattoo. It’s not just a symbol to represent Down syndrome, it’s a symbol of connection and belonging. If anything, the viral nature of the three arrows in the Down syndrome community show us just how much we want to be seen and known. How much we want to connect with others. It tells the story of a community resisting the negative narrative about Down syndrome constantly being thrown our way. It tells a story of just how important our loved one with Down syndrome is to us.
