One day, years ago, I dropped my middle daughter Truly off at preschool. As I approached the teacher to ask a question about an upcoming event I observed my daughter walk up to two girls sitting on the rug playing with blocks.
“Can I play with you?” Truly asked
The girls hesitated, looked at each other and then one of them replied, “No, you can’t play with us. But maybe we can play together at lunch.”
My eyes darted from my disappointed daughter, to the girls on the rug, to their parents standing by to the teacher, who overheard the exchange. I waited for one of them to interject, offering all three of these girls an opportunity to learn how to be inclusive. When no one seemed to bat an eye I made my way over to the rug, placed my hands on my daughter’s shoulders and with as much gentleness and kindness I could muster said to the girls on the rug, “Of course Truly can play with you.” I knelt down, picked up a block, patted the floor and said to Truly, “How about you sit right here?” Then looking at all the girls I handed Truly the block and said, “what are you playing?”
Later that day I shared this story with my online community, encouraging parents to make sure we are having conversations with our kids about inclusion and kindness. Most parents joined me in solidarity. But a few parents did not, saying, “there is nothing wrong with the way the girls responded. They shouldn’t have to play with everyone if they don’t want to. Plus they gave her an alternative for a time she could join them.” Honestly? Their reactions gave me pause and made me reevaluate my reaction. Yet the more I thought about it the more I disagreed with their response to the situation, especially considering the setting. We were not talking about an established college study group taking place in a library. We were talking about three year old girls sitting in a communal space in their preschool class. If anywhere should be a place of inclusive practices and learning how to make a space where everyone can belong it is preschool! Maybe it’s the fact I was often the child who felt left out and insecure with my peers, or maybe it was because all three of the children I have, find themselves in marginalized groups, all too familiar with exclusion and its toxic effects. These collections of experience led me to stand firm in my feelings that when three year old Tru asked to play with the girls the only answer should have been yes. It made me feel even more strongly how important it is for us to teach our kids to scoot over and make room on the rug, at the playground, in their classrooms, in their friend groups, or even when planning to put on an epic show in the park. We all have so much capacity for kindness, and we can share with our kids how amazing things can be when we say yes to inclusivity. Afterall, this world should be one where Everyone Belongs.
Friends! I am beyond thrilled to share with you my newest children’s book, Everyone Belongs. A story about sisters named Macy and Tru who head to the park to put on a show in which Everyone Belong. It’s a book that encourages children to not only value all people but to also make room for their differences in order to make a better, brighter, and more beautiful world.
I am so proud of this book and its message and I think you and your children are going to love it! And guess what? The book is available for pre-order TODAY. You can pre-order the book anywhere books are sold. Here are some links to make it easy: