To all the writers in the room

“How are sales going?” I asked in an email to my publisher. I was reaching out for a different reason but since I was reaching out thought I may as well ask.

The response was less than welcomed. In fact, it stirred in me all the doubt and insecurity I try so hard to keep at bay.

“We actually had more returns from retailers than we did sales last month, so the numbers are moving in the wrong direction.” 

I want to tell you that I read that fact and digested it as the fuel I would need to get back out there and share my message and book with the world.  I want to tell you that I can see this situation for what it is, an opportunity for learning and growth. I want to tell you that I closed my email and created a new marketing plan, one that will get this book and its message into the hands of thousands. 

But this is not how I am wired. Those were not my reactions.

Defeated.

Failure.

Less-than. 

That is where my heart sits tonight.

I want to tell you.

Putting a book into the world can be painful.

There’s the pain of the process. This kind of pain is important and necessary and on the other side I am thankful for it. The hours spent putting words on paper then deleting them only to put them down in a more digestible and absorbable way. Then on the 29th day of the sixth month when you are 5,000 words short and certain you have nothing else to say and this book will never make its way into the world, the creative juices flow, as they say, and the final manuscript is submitted in the final hour. Then there are the hours and days of going back and forth with an editor, the redline maker. Trying to explain why the 237 words in the middle of chapter seven are relevant to the story all while knowing in your gut that she is right, they should be cut. But each cut is felt deeply. And after weeks of chopping and slashing and redline making, when the final 55,000 or so words are finally agreed upon, you hold up the papers, all 225 of them and you can see in them the pain and the scars and you are stronger and more resilient, able to see it for the gift it was. Proud of your scars. Hoping and praying the world will receive the gift of your words, your heart on paper.

Then, after months of dreaming and strategic plans and thoughtful execution, launch day arrives, the day the book, your tender heart on paper, is birthed into the world.   

And while this should be a truly joyous occasion full of celebration and admiration because you wrote a freaking book, there is a different kind of pain. A looming pain. One that may shockingly inflict itself on you. You will know by the numbers…by the success of the book.

What you do not realize, because you can’t know what you don’t know, is that your expectations for the book and for the day and for your whole dang future for that matter were already established and then not met. This creates a pain known as failure and it crushes you in the worst way.

Launch day comes to a close.  You head to bed, dizzy from the new life, your book, you just gave birth to. Your expectations have not been met, the people did not show up, the sales fell flat and you go to bed with a pit in your stomach wondering what went wrong…what now?

Then the weeks go by and you are there, tender from having given birth to a thing that is precious and dear and vulnerable to you, but no one comes to visit. When the family gathers for vacation in Hawaii, no one asks to see this new thing or how it is going or raises a glass to the effort it took to get it into the world. And your publishers and book launch team have moved on to the next book. The one with more potential (the things/(lies?) our pain-stricken hearts will believe). And you hold this book, your creation, and wonder what went wrong.

Maybe this is just me? Maybe no other author has felt this way? Maybe.

It has been three months a week and one day since my heart on paper, my second book, made its way into the world. And today I was informed the book is not selling.

This, my dear ones, is a deep kind of pain. 

And tonight, I can feel the pain, I can expose it to all of you, all while knowing the truth that my words, this book, are exceptionally valuable. And I could tell myself, “this will only make you stronger!”, “You can only go up from here!”.  Or you may say to me, “Well at least you have a publisher, not very many writers even get that opportunity.” Or “You should focus on the people who have reached out and told you how meaningful the book is to them.” While all of these are truth, the reality is, these truths do not take away the pain. And sitting in it just happens to be part of my process.

So, the point of all of this, if there even is one, is to say to the authors and the writers new and old: I see you. I know you. I celebrate you and every word you have so graciously and vulnerably shared with the world. And I sit with you in pain, shouting to you (perhaps so that it may echo back to me), your worth and value as a writer is not marked by numbers. No! Numbers are too rigid, too calculated, too fixed. You worth and value as a writer are measured in the sparks of the heart that jumps in your chest when the words hit the paper. It is measured by the connections between our souls when you so generously pour yours out and it is received by another. And finally, it is measure by the truth that the simple yet profound act of putting our words on paper already exceeds any expectation waiting to be met.

Write on my dear wounded one. Write on.

Hi! What’s your name?: A Down Syndrome Awareness Month Challenge

There are so many things I adore about my 11 year old daughter Macyn. The list truly is infinite. But near the tippy top of the list of qualities and character traits I love about her is her uninhibited approach to life and the fact that she has Down syndrome. 

Down syndrome is a genetic condition that takes place when there is an extra copy of the 21st chromosome. While Down syndrome does not define my daughter, there are so many amazing qualities about her that I credit to Down syndrome including her lack of inhibition. 

Let me give you a little example of what I am talking about: Macyn LOVES people. Like everyone I know, she has a deep desire for human connection and relationship. But the reality is, because she has Down syndrome, the people in the world who do not have a connection to the Down syndrome community, which is most people, don’t know how to respond to Macyn. Most people who are meeting Macyn for the first time often end up trying to ignore or avoid her. The truth remains, most humans are afraid of the unknown and often afraid of different. Here’s where Macyn’s inhibitions come in; while she also responds to the unknown like most humans do, feeling hesitant and afraid, she is not afraid of you. And furthermore, she is not put off by your fear of the unknown aspects of her. Macyn wants to connect with other humans and so she is going to do just that.

Here is how this plays out every day, multiple times a day:

Macyn passes you on the sidewalk: “Hi! What’s your name?”

Macyn meets you in line at a coffee shop: “Hi! What’s your name?”

Macyn see you on the playground at school or the park: “Hi!  What’s your name?”  

Macyn walks up to you at Target: “Hi! What’s your name?” 

Macyn passes you in the parking lot while you’re getting in your car: “Hi! What’s your name?”

Honestly? For years, I was so uncomfortable with the counter cultural way Macyn interacted with people that I tried to stifle her, shushing her and pulling her along when in reality saying hello and asking someone their name is a basic act of human connection and kindness. And over the years Macyn has been one of my greatest teachers on what it means to be human, how to see the humanity in all and how to connect with others. In a society where we’ve been programed to stick to ourselves and allow our inhibitions to keep us from connecting with each other, Macyn and her unique way of reacting with the world around her has been a beacon of truth, hope and goodness. Everyday she shows me just what an asset Down syndrome is to her life, our family and the world. And today, rather than get anxious every time Macyn approaches a stranger to ask them their name I welcome it, sitting back and watching as this simple act of human kindness breaks down barriers and gives the person being approached an opportunity to get to interact with someone like Macyn making the unknown a little more known. 

Here’s the thing; over the years hundreds, maybe thousands of people have reached out to me asking for advice on how to talk to their children about inclusion or how to find opportunities to make a more inclusive world. While there are college courses you can take on the subject, let’s take a lesson for Macyn. It’s simple really. The next time you see a person with Down syndrome or another disability, abandon your inhibitions, walk up and say these four simple words; “Hi! What’s your name?”, and in doing so you can join Macyn on her mission to connect humanity, spread kindness and create a world where everyone belongs.

This month, in honor of Down syndrome awareness and inspired by Macy, we are thrilled to introduce you to the, “Hi! What’s your name” tee. We hope that everytime you wear this shirt you will remember the power of these four simple words, planting seeds of connection and kindness everywhere you go.

Inclusion Matters: A Story About Wood Chips

I got a message from my daughter’s teacher the other day and it brought me to tears. First, a little background: as I write this we are only a few week into a new school year and my daughter’s teacher and I have found ourselves communicating often during these first few weeks of the school year because my daughter has Down syndrome, she is fully included in her general education 5thgrade class, and it is the first time in her teacher’s 18 years of teaching to have a student with Down syndrome in her class. Another important piece of information to note is my daughter attends our local neighborhood public school. It is a non-inclusive school, meaning the original placement my daughter was offered was a separate special education classroom. We have decided this placement is not an option for her, for many reasons, (but that’s a discussion for another time) all that to say: having my daughter fully included in a general education 5th grade classroom is a steep learning curve for everyone involved. 

When I picked up my phone and saw I had a message from my daughter’s teacher my stomach dropped, just a bit. This happens every time the school’s number flashes on my caller ID or an email shows up in my inbox from a school personal or a message pops up on my phone from a teacher. My stomach drops because when the systems in play, in this case the public school, are not set up for a child with Down syndrome to be successful there are lots of unsuccessful moments, (which my husband and I have learned to call “opportunities for learning and growth”)! There have been dozens of times over the years when I have received an email, phone call, or message letting me know how my daughter is misbehaving or acting inappropriately or not fitting in, or needs to be picked up because it’s just not working out. You could say over the past eight years of my daughter’s educational career I’ve developed a form of PTSD triggered by some form of communication from the school.

Back to the message. When I picked up my phone and began to read, the sick feeling in my stomach was replaced with tears of gratitude and relief. Here is what her teacher wrote: 

“Today after recess [Macyn] was very happy and I asked her what she had played. She told me she played with several girls in class on the swings. The girls then told me that Macyn had struggled to reach the swing and they couldn’t get her on it, so they piled up the woodchips and created a ‘step’ for her to use to get on the swing. She loved it and had a great time.” 

Friends! Do you see what happened here? Macyn’s peers modified the playground so their friend could have access to it. This is amazing! They didn’t learn this from a classroom or a lesson. I guarantee you they have never gone to a class about modification and inclusive practices. They are 5th graders. I’m sure they have never thought about what makes a playground inclusive or not. They are 5th graders. But they know a thing or two about feeling left out or needing to know they belong, because, well, they are 5th graders. What happened is they saw a person who is in their class, who they have been building a relationship with, in need of some assistance. And then they got creative and solved a problem so their friend and classmate could get on the swings. They had an opportunity to embrace the essence of what it means to be human and in doing so made a way for the goodness of our collective humanity to shine. 

This is what inclusion is about! 

Inclusion is about so much more than Macyn having access and opportunities. It is about her peers and teachers and every other person at the school having access to her which creates one of a kind opportunities for empathy, compassion, leadership, creativity, understanding, teamwork, generosity, kindness…basically every quality we pray our children, and ourselves, will possess. Yes, it is critical to Macyn’s growth, development and well-being for her to have full access to her school and be seen as a citizen of her school. But equally as important, or arguably even more so, it is critical for the wellbeing of humanity for the other students and people in the school to have access to Macyn. 

The truth is, we are a world divided. A society drawing lines in the sand when we should be building steps with the woodchips. But how can we when the very people who offer us the opportunity to do so are systemically slotted and separated? The thing I find so profound about this simple playground story is it has little to do with woodchips and everything to do with what they represent: a core need in all of us to have a sense of belonging. And a testament to how life is better when we live it together. 

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What Belonging Means to Us: Brought to you by Old Navy

We here at the Avis home love summer. Our end of the school year count down begins at least 45 days before the final school bell rings ushering in the flexibility, relaxation and excitement summer days can bring. 

Honestly though? Summer can be tricky when you are raising kids who don't totally now where they belong. Kids who might behave differently at the pool or who might get strange looks at the park, or who might need a little extra time and explanation when transitioning from one activity to the next. It's hard to know where we belong in a world that can sometimes see belonging as being the same.

Because if the Avis family is anything, we are different!

But here is what my kids have taught me and continue to teach me day after day, year after year: belonging does not mean being the same but rather making space for and celebrating the differences in all of us. Because when we create a space where everyone belongs, we get to see the wholeness and uniqueness humanity has to offer. And when we teach our children to make spaces in their lives where everyone can belong, not only do we get to show them how to celebrate our differences, but we get to show them just how much we have in common with all different kinds of people.

So this summer, as we put on our matching striped tees we'll add our own unique flare and choose to do all the things. We will show up at family camp knowing Macy will respond differently in group settings, and teaching those around us that she still does in fact belong. We will walk through airports and hop onto airplanes knowing our crew will get some stares and teaching our kids to see the awesome in the people staring. And we will embrace all the fun summer has to offer knowing that our embrace may be a little tighter at time and a littler loser at times. We will forever embrace each unique thing about those we share this globe with as we continue to create a world where belonging looks like celebrating our differences

Dance 2019

If you’ve been following along for a while, then you know how important hip-hop has been to our daughter Macyn and you may recall the life changing dress rehearsal and dance recital that took place in 2017 when Macyn danced in her first ever dance recital. Since that day, Macyn has continued to be mind, heart, and soul committed to hip-hop. She practices daily in the kitchen, or at school, or on the sidewalk or while waiting in line at the store. The music and the dance pulse through her blood and ring in her ears. It is a privilege to get to witness it 

Which is why it was so confusing to me when we moved in 2018 and dance studios were not lined up at the door begging us to let Macyn dance there. I know I’m her mom, and moms often think these kinds of thoughts about their kids, but when it comes to dancing with, learning from and/or teaching Macyn, it remains a mystery why our whole community is not in line for this opportunity. 

And it’s not because Macyn is the best dancer with the sharpest moves and on point rhythm. Quite the opposite in fact. When she first started dancing at a studio, she was always a few steps behind or ahead and her body wasn’t able to do certain moves, (she can’t turn left! She’s a real live Zoolander!). She always stood out, not because she was the best dancer, but because she was so off from the rest of the class. But! I guarantee you there is not a dancer in her whole dance studio who is as committed to dance as she is or who has the passion for dance like she does. And even more so, in a world where we are told we must be a certain way or you need to do better and be better, she continues to show up and say,

“actually, you just need to be you.” 

We did find a dance studio in our new city and Macyn joined the hip-hop class for her age group. Week after week she showed up and danced her little heart out. There were zero accommodations made for her. Not a stich of extra help or time given to her. And I will say this; we are the ones asking for full inclusion, and so full inclusion is what we were given. However, let me also add a little side note here as the world continues to figure out what it means to fully include all people: inclusion is not about everyone being treated equally. Inclusion is making sure everyone has equal opportunities. It making sure all the different kinds of people in the world can show up to all the different spaces and be fully embraced and seen as able so they can strive to be their very best. This should mean that when a person steps into a space where their needs have not been accommodated, the people in the space bend and flex and scoot to make it work for everyone. Back to Macyn’s hip-hop class. During every class I sat in the waiting area, watching her dance on the screen cringing at the lack of shifting taking place in the class for her while simultaneously beaming inside watching her learn the moves and keep up and NEVER once giving up. She just blows me away.

As it goes in the dance world, months went by and we found ourselves in recital season. The routine for her recital was full of so much difficult and advanced choreography and in perfect Macy fashion, she showed up, never gave up and practiced and danced her little heart out. Once we started practicing for the recital I did ask for some extra assistance for Macy. I asked if I could have the dance on video, and the teacher gladly let me get video of the routine (which a lot of the other moms did too! And which I have seen a minimum of 1 million times!). I also asked for music ahead of time, which I did not get, but I understand people are busy. And I let them know Macyn is available for extra practices and lessons, which we would pay for, if they felt it was necessary. We were never taken up on this idea.

Before I go on, please hear me. This is not a post complaining about a dance studio or shining a negative light on one particular teacher or studio. August is in a dance class at the same dance studio and we have had an amazing and positive experience where he is fully embraced, fully celebrated and all of his needs are taken into considerations to help him be his best self. August is also five years old and the size of most three-year-old’s, which matters a great deal when we talk about making space for people who are different than us. The younger kids are the more likely they are to be embraced and the more likely they are to embrace differences. But this is not a message about that either. What this is, is a message about how much better off we all are when the “Macys” of this world are included and accounted for in allthe spaces and how this is not happening in the majority of the spaces, and this needs to change.

This past weekend, along with watching both August and Macyn SLAY on stage in their dance recital, I also volunteered backstage where all the students who don’t do a costume change wait until it is their turn to dance and then wait until the final bow. There were about 50 kids in that room ranging from three years old to teen. And you want to know what I watched Macyn do for almost two hours while we waited? First, I watched every single person in her hip-hop routine make their way to a different dressing room, even though some of them did not have a costume change, and not one asked Macyn to join them. Which means for the two days when there were performances every girl in her routine gathered together and went to a different room where they were all together. Everyone but Macy. And in addition, only one girl from her class even said hello to her or acknowledge her as a fellow dancer. Then I watched Macy go from small group to small group trying to fit in while kids would smile kindly and then literally turn their backs and keep playing what they were playing or continue their conversations. I sat in the room and felt the weight of the world as Macyn finally resolved to dance along to the show happening on stage which could be viewed on a screen in the large backstage room or sit by herself and watch. I do not share this for you to pity Macyn. At the end of the day our girl is adored and embraced by so many in her life and she and I know this truth to be true. What I do need you to do is hear the sense of urgency in this message. This kind of exclusive behavior is happening among our kids and it is not okay. And it’s not happening because kids these days are unkind and exclusive, it’s happening because kids lack opportunities to be around those who are different than them, so when they are, they don’t know what to do. As I watched the hours unfold, I wondered if I was being overly sensitive. And I thought about all of you. About all of the people on here who follow our family and journey and questioned if I should share. Hesitating to do so because haven’t I complained enough about this kind of stuff? Feeling like it’s always something.

 But you know what? It is always something, and I’m sick of it. We’ve got this one life and this one world and for some unknown reason we’ve decided it is best spent surrounded by people who are just like us and who make us as comfortable as we can be. We read self-help books telling us that our lives and our dreams and our hard work are the most important things and should be pursued unapologetically. And in the meantime, divorce rates are up, stress is at an all-time high, suicide rates are up, the world is miserable.

Then there’s Macy and hip-hop. Total uninhibited assurance and passion and contentment. The very things so many of us crave and need in life. Yet when opportunities arise to become more assured, passionate and content humans, to learn from and alongside Macy, we turn our backs, programed and prone to ignore it because it is so different from us. 

We need Macy and hip-hop. We need the people in this world who respond so differently to it that it makes us uncomfortable to the point of needing to make changes in our lives. We need dance studios who go out recruiting the “Macyns” of this world recognizing that passion and skill come in many shapes and movements. We need our kids and teens to think outside of themselves and to know how to navigate interactions with people who are different than them and how to pursue relationships with those people. We need to look around and scoot over and make some room in EVERY SINGLE SPACE in our lives and ask ourselves who do we allow in or who are we keeping out? And this is a group effort friends. Everyone needs to make their way to the front lines and do the hard work needed to make this world more inclusive

We need to look around and scoot over and make some room in EVERY SINGLE SPACE in our lives and ask ourselves who do we allow in or who are we keeping out? 

One more thing, and this last little bit is especially for those of us who continue to show up in spaces where you or your loved one is not accounted for: On the day of the recital, as Macy was sharing with us how nervous she was her little brother, August, who also has Down syndrome, looked at her and said, “You are brave, and you are strong. and you can do it.” And then a few hours later, when he was back stage with his class waiting for their routine to start and the girls started talking about how nervous they felt, he gathered them around and said to them, “you are brave, and you are strong, and you can do it!” Friends, creating a more inclusive world is a lot of work. Continuing to show up in spaces where we are not sure we belong, is hard and scary. Opening our lives up to people who are different than us, is hard and scary but let’s take a pep talk from August: We are brave, and we are strong, and we can do it! We can keep showing up, we can keep scooting over, and together we can make this world better for all of us:

We are brave, and we are strong, and we can do it. We can keep showing up, we can keep scooting over, and together we can make this world better for all of us. 

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Help us make a more inclusive world.

Preorder your copy of
Scoot Over and Make Some Room

A Word on Pro-Life

Anti-abortion is not the same as pro-life

This past weekend I was sitting in a large conference room listening to leaders talk about some recent hot topics happening in our nation when a man sharing about his space in the political sphere said the following:

“I am pro-life, but I’m also all about prison reform and so people are confused on where I stand politically.”

I wrote down what he said so I could think about it some more, because it felt confusing, at least to me. But then again, so do most of the “pro-life” messages being sharing these days. Let me expand:

As the mother of two children with Down syndrome, and as a fierce and dedicated advocate and voice in the Down syndrome community, hundreds of people bring to my attention anything happening in the news or any inspiring videos or posts that relate to Down syndrome. As of late, there has been some legislation around abortion when it comes to an in-utero diagnosis. Some “pro-life” folks have been working hard to pass laws which make sure women cannot chose to terminate a pregnancy because of an in-utero Down syndrome diagnosis. 

Look, I am very much pro-life in the sense that I am anti-abortion. And when a person with Down syndrome is not given the opportunity for life merely because of their diagnosis, it especially grieves my soul, not to mention it causes immense harm to humanity as a whole. Along with being anti-abortion I am pro-life in every sense of the word which, in these circumstances, means I am pro-Down syndrome from conception to grave. Yet I find the “pro-life” people who are throwing around viral videos of adult advocates who have Down syndrome as a way to push their own political agenda, or who narrowly focus on pursing laws which protect the unborn with a Down syndrome diagnosis, less about being pro-life and more about being anti-abortion. Here’s why, pro-life goes beyond the womb and if we care about people with Down syndrome while they are in the womb then we have to care about them once they are out of the womb. If we call ourselves pro-life then we need to make sure we are doing all we can so that those who are born with Down syndrome have access to all the spaces that people without Down syndrome have access to. 

Pro-life means working on laws that will require schools to change their practices so people with Down syndrome are given the supports necessary to have access to the same spaces that people without Down syndrome have access to. It means working with our communities and law makers towards fair wages for people with Down syndrome in the work place. It means doing what it takes to create an inclusive and accessible environment in our churches.  It makes me wonder why so many “pro-life” people see the importance of making sure a child with Down syndrome is born but do little, if anything, to make sure that same child is given an equitable amount of space in this world once they enter it.

We cannot say we are “pro-life” and only care for the unborn. If we are pro-life then we must care equally for the born. And as a person deeply connected to the Down syndrome community, I do not see an equal amount of energy or attention put towards making sure people with Down syndrome are given the same human rights as people without Down syndrome. 

Pro-life means we care for the unborn and we care for the born.

Which brings me back to the statement the man made about feeling he was contradicting himself when he said he was both “pro-life” and pro-prison reform. This felt confusing to me because in my world view, pro-prison reform is pro-life.

If we are going to call ourselves pro-life then we don’t get to pick and choose which lives, we are for and which lives we are going to ignore. Pro-life is pro-life which means we should be as upset about the way our prisons are run as we are about a law which allows women to terminate their pregnancy after 24 weeks. 

If we are pro-life, then we need to take action to help the millions of refugees who are fleeing for their lives and unable to find safety within our country because they are not allowed in. And we need to be caring about the lives of those at our boarders more than we care about a wall to keep them out. Pro-life is seeing the lives of our educators and our students as more important than our right to own a gun. Prioritizing our own sense of security and safety is a step away from being holistically pro-life.

People before politics,

Life before nation,

Loving on, caring for and protecting both the born and the unborn, 

This my friends is holistic pro-life.

When you think about being “pro-life” and the only connection you make is with abortion, then I would challenge you to stop calling yourself pro-life and instead say you are anti-abortion. For when we care about, stand up for and speak up for both the unborn andthe born, only then can we truly call ourselves Pro-Life. 

It's The Holiday Season

The holiday season is upon us and the Avis house could not be more excited. We are Christmas junkies! Who’s with us?! 

Does anyone else remember a time, not too long ago, when we did not even begin to think about Christmas until after Thanksgiving? Radio stations and stores waited until then to play music and retailers would hold off on Christmas merchandise until Black Friday at least. Now all things Christmas start so much earlier. And I’m not even mad about it. I say, bring on the holiday cheer as early as possible!

One reason I love starting the season earlier is because every year I feel as though I scramble to get all the fun, festive things checked off my holiday bucket list. When we start earlier it gives me that many more days to squeeze all the holiday festivities and traditions in.

One thing I love to do during the holiday season is bake cookies. But you want to know one thing that always feels stressful and rushed? You guessed it: baking cooking. 

Here’s the thing, the kids always want to be involved, and I want them to be…I really do. But it’s so much better in theory. The truth is, when I’m signed up to bring two dozen cookies to my son’s class and another two dozen to a Christmas party, enlisting the kids to help turns into whole bowls of flour dumped on the floor and sticky fingers going from their mouth to the batter contaminating the whole thing making our cookie time together counterproductive. There is a time for baking with the children, and I am looking forward to that, but if I want to make four dozen beautiful cookies void of my children’s germs, then I prefer to do it alone.  

This year, I made a brilliant plan and did a whole morning of baking AFTER I sent the kids to school. It was glorious! I turned on Christmas music along with the oven and got to work. 

I recently got a few bags of CRUNCH Dark Jingles and I’m obsessed. These candies are basically a Crunch bar shaped like a bell…dark chocolate and crisped rice dreams coming true. They are delicious, and I keep a candy dish around the house because their colorful foils are so festive! So the other day I was eating one of these festive Crunch bell-shaped dark chocolates and thought, “These would be perfect in a cookie!” And that is exactly what I did. I literally put one of these in a snowball cookie and our lives are now complete!

Here is the recipe I used:

Here’s what you need:

·      1 11/2 cups  butter, softened

·      33/44cup  powdered sugar

·      11/2 teaspoon  salt

·      1 tablespoon  vanilla extract

·      3 cups  flour

·      24 CRUNCH Dark Jingle bells, unwrapped

·      11/4 cup  powdered sugar, for rolling

Here’s What you do:

1.     Heat oven to 375*F.

2.     Cream together the butter, 3/4 cup of the powdered sugar, and the salt until fluffy; blend in the vanilla.

3.     Gradually beat in the flour, blending just until combined.

4.     Shape dough into 1 1/4" balls.

5.     Wrap the dough around one whole bell

6.     place 1" apart on ungreased cookie sheets.

7.     Bake 10-12 minutes, or until cookies are set and bottoms are lightly browned.

8.     Sift the 1/4 cup powdered sugar over the hot cookies; cool on baking sheets 10 minutes.

9.     Carefully transfer cookies to wire racks and cool completely.

10.  Dust with additional powdered sugar, if desired. Store in airtight containers.

You will make these, and you will thank me. They are so bomb diggity and your friends and guests will bite into them and be very impressed. You’re welcome.

But this is not all that happened this morning when I kicked the kids out of the kitchen. I thought, “these bell-shaped candies are so adorable they should not be hidden inside a cookie.” So, I made a second batch of baked goodness in the form of a peanut-butter blondie with CRUNCH Dark Jingle Bells…whoa! So delicious. You basically just take any recipe you have for a blondie and you stick an adorable Crunch Dark Jingle Bell on the top before you bake. Easy peasy. 

And that’s not all that happened this very productive, childless morning. Not it is not! 

As the cookies were baking, I decided to get a head start on some stocking stuffers. Every year for Christmas my husband and I are very strict about how we divide our time with our families: we do every other year with every other family. Last Christmas was with his family and this Christmas is with my family. We never travel on Christmas day and we don’t spilt our time either. But we do make a special time to celebrate with which ever family we are not spending Christmas with. So this year my husband’s family will be joning us for an early Christmas celebration. All this to say, the kids get two stocking (lucky!). So I got their stockings stuffed and ready to go for when we celebrate early with my in-laws. 

I saw these Big Chewy NERDS Reindeer at Target and had to grab them. I got one for myself as well, remembering this candy from my childhood, and loving how they are moving from a small sized candy to a chewy candy. (side note, this product was a finalist in the Most Innovative New Product Award in the Seasonal category at the 2018 Sweets & Snacks Expo! You can visit http://www.ferrarausa.com/brands/to learn more)

As you can see, these adorable Nerds Reindeer are made to hang perfectly on the outside of the kids’ stockings, making them the perfect stocking stuffer. 

Now, the kids are about ready to come home from school and I am feeling oh so accomplished and loving this head start I have on my holiday bucket list. 

Here it is friends! The newest edition of my heart on paper. A labor of love. A timely and important message.

April 19th Update: WE NEED YOUR HELP to sell 25K copies by June 25. Click here to preorder and then share the link with a friend. Thanks!

Scoot Over and Make Some Room:
Creating a Space Where Everyone Belongs

I thought about you while I wrote each of the words in this book. I thought about where you might be on this journey, we call life. About the places you have yet to go. About the places you are afraid to step into.

I thought about my kids, Macyn, Truly and August. I thought about how I never intended to be a shouter of worth. How I never thought I’d be writing books to show the world just how wonderful it can be when we shift things in our lives in order to make room for everyone to belong. How much richer my life is because of the intentional choices I’ve made to do life with those who are different than me.

The truth is, in a world of divisions and margins, those who act, look, and grow a little differently are all too often shoved aside. So, I wrote this book, Scoot Over and Make Some Room which is part inspiring narrative and part encouraging challenge for us all to listen and learn from those we're prone to ignore.

My hope and prayer is this book will challenge us to look at our lives, our tables, our living-room sofas, and see the ways in which we need to make room for those who we have been prone to ignore, to judge or to dismiss. And in so doing, discovering a richer and more meaningful life.

This book is your invitation to a table where space is unlimited, and every voice can be heard. Because I believe with all of my heart, when you open your life to the wild beauty of every unique individual, you'll discover your own colorful soul and the extraordinary, abundant heart of God.

This book will be out in June of 2019 but it is available for pre-sale RIGHT NOW! Which means you can head over to Amazon and pre-order your copy today and then while you’re at it, order one for all the parents, educators, church goers, and humans in your life. 

So thankful to be on this journey with you.

Shouting their worth,

Heather

Today, I am beyond thrilled

After my first book, The Lucky Few, came out a dear friend of mine asked me if I’d ever write another book. My response: “I don’t think so. I only have this one story to tell.” How foolish I was! The truth is, my story was just beginning. The other truth? Writing a book is so freaking difficult and I didn’t really want to do it again. 

About six months after that conversation with my friend I found myself on a crowded freeway in Los Angeles and an idea for another booked popped in my head. I quickly got my literary agent on speaker phone and the process for book number two began.

We talked about all the different ideas in my head, I wrote out an outline and together we created a proposal to pitch to publishers. I signed again with my dear friends at Zondervan. I got to work getting my words on paper. I wanted to quit so many times, because writing a book is so freaking difficult. I persisted. And in June of this year I sent my publishers a finished manuscript.

Today, I am beyond thrilled to announce my second book titled: 

Scoot Over & Make Some Room

Creating a space where everyone belongs.

Coming out June of 2019.

Friends, as I said above, I wanted to quit this book so many times. I even called my agent and asked her what would happen if I broke my contract with Zondervan! But I’m so glad I didn’t. I’m so glad I sat down day after day and worked it out. Because this book is important. So very important and I believe in the words found within its pages. 

You see, I spent so much of my comfortable and privileged life unaware of all the space I was taking up in the world, and how many people are being pushed to the edges of society with very few of us willing to scoot over and make room for them. Then, by God’s grace, I got to be the mama to three kids. Three kids who happen to find themselves pushed to the edges of society because they are different or because systems in play continue to only see one kind of person as valuable and worthy. This new book is written as part inspiring narrative and part encouraging challenge for us all to listen and learn from those who we’re prone to ignore. 

In the next couple of weeks, I get to reveal to you the cover and tell you more as the book becomes available for pre-sale.

So, keep your eyes open and when the time comes, will you join me in sharing this message and making sure the spaces in which we live have room for all different kinds of people? 

Xoxo
Heather

When a Dance Recital Becomes About So Much More Than Dance

A little over twenty-four hours ago both Macyn and Truly had taken their final bow at a dance recital that was about so much more than dance.

I’ve been processing the events of last night and have shared a few of the highlights with some of our friends and I know I want to write about it so I can always remember, but the magic which took placed that was mixed up with the music, the lights, the sequins, the laughter and the tears, is difficult to put into words.

I could share with you about how this was my middle daughter Truly’s first dance recital and how the morning of, before getting out of bed, she told me she wanted to quit. She said she was too scared to go on stage and dance, and I told her it was okay to be scared but Avis’s don’t quit. Then, with butterflies in her stomach she went up on that stage, three different times, and danced her heart out as though she had done it one thousand times before, beaming with pride when she ran into my arms at the end of the show.

Or I could share with you about how, in stark contrast to last year, Macyn proceeded with so much confidence and success during both of the dress rehearsals, I made a plan with her dance instructor to make sure she would have the supports she needed to be without me backstage, and then on the night of the recital I left her in a dressing room with a few dozen girls and I went to SIT IN THE AUDIENCE! Then when it came time for her first routine she marched her sweet little self out there, covered in purple sequins and danced her heart out while I sat and wept. Tears of joy and pride. Last year I would not have felt comfortable leaving her to navigate all the specifics involved in getting her on the stage successfully and on time. She had come so far in a year…we both had.

Or maybe I should share with you about how everything started to fall apart a bit for our Macyn during intermission. How I went back to check on her and, because I know my girl so well, I am guessing it was the combo of the fact it was two hours past her normal bedtime and she had not eaten in a while combined with the normal stress from the sensory overload an experience like this entails, which lead her to refuse to put on her costume for the second act, (until finally she did), and then her minor melt-down followed by her epic recovery. It’s tricky because there are not really words to adequately describe the ins and outs of how she ran off the stage in a tearful panic, seconds before she was supposed to go on, and then how, while I was pulling out every trick in the book to help her recover, Alison, the head of the dance studio, did a last minute change up in the order, once again bending and flexing so Macyn could be successful and fully included, until we got her backstage again and she went out on stage and slayed her routine. How every time I think “we’ve lost her” and she is too far gone emotionally and too stressed out to go on, she recovers. Every. Single. Time.

I could share with you about how much I have had to hold this week as I helped Macyn successfully navigate the ups and downs of a recital week and the emotional toll it takes on me to set her up for success, over and over and over again. Or how, during all those hours in the dressing room and backstage, my mama bear heart ached as I watched her try, unsuccessfully, to interact with her peers. And then how my heart swelled when a friend finally stepped in and made the extra effort needed to connect with Macyn in a meaningful way.

But, while monumental and significant, none of that is the focal point I really want to share or remember about last night. The thing I want to remember, the whole point of it all really, is how all of the events from last night; the magical and the difficult, the tears and the cheers, were all given a chance to come to fruition because someone saw the ability in Macyn.

Two years ago, when I sent an email to Alison letting her know my daughter has Down syndrome and asked if she had any questions, little did we know how our lives would change. You see, when Alison heard about Macyn, when she read the words, “Down syndrome” her first thoughts were not about if Macyn would have the skill set needed to do the moves required of her, or about if her behavior would impede her time in class. She did not wonder if her lack of clear speech or evolving social skills would make the other students in the class uncomfortable. And when it came time for the recital she did not think about putting Macyn in a lower class or setting her off in the back corner so her lack of balance and difficulty staying in formation would not distract from the routine. No! While all of these things may at times be true about Macyn, the thing Alison saw when she looked at my daughter was her ability. And here is the thing my friends, when we look at last year’s recital, a recital Macyn did amazing at, and then we look at this year’s recital, the amount Macyn has grown is spectacular. Her confidence, both as a dancer and in herself is breathtaking.

Friends, isn’t this what we all want for our kids and for ourselves, for people to see the ability in us? Because the truth is, when we see the ability in someone we offer them an opportunity for authentic growth.

In three days we will move to another city and have to say good-bye to Alison and her dance studio. While this is breaking my heart I also know we leave changed…not just as better dancer, but as better humans, and isn’t that what this is really all about?